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Thursday, April 19, 2012

How a Crock of Shit Becomes Policy

  • Ever wonder how things can get so screwed up. Is it a lack of communication? Consider the following story…..

    In the beginning was the plan
    And then came the assumptions
    And the assumptions were without form
    And the plan was completely without substance
    And the darkness was upon the faces of the Workers
    And they spoke unto their Group Heads, saying:
    "It is a crock of shit and it stinketh".
    And the Group Heads went unto their Section Heads and sayeth:
    "It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof' ..”
    And the Section Heads went unto their Managers and sayeth to them:
    "It is a container of excrement, and it’s aroma very strong,
    . Such that none here may abide by it".
    And the managers went unto their Director and sayeth unto him:
    "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it’s fragrance is very powerful".
    And the Director went unto the Assistant Deputy Minister
    and sayeth unto him:
    "It promoteth growth, and it is very powerful".
    And the A.D.M. went unto the Deputy Minister and sayeth unto him:
    "This powerful new plan will actively promote the growth and
    Efficiency of the Department, and this area in particular".
    And the Deputy Minister looked upon the plan,
    And saw that it 'was good’.

    And this is how a crock of shit becomes policy.

    Now you might wonder how something like the above can actually take place. Well consider the following story…….

    When the human body was first made, all of its parts had a meeting.

    They all agreed there had to be a leader, a boss, to make sure everything ran smoothly.

    First the brain spoke up saying he should be boss cuz he coordinated every function.

    But the heart objected saying if it wasn't for him constantly pumping life's blood to every part, nothing could happen.

    Then the lungs interjected, "I should be boss cuz I supply the oxygen necessary for the blood to be viable.

    "Wait a minute," responded the liver. "I make sure the blood and other vital fluids are healthy constantly cleansing them of toxins and poisons.

    Even the spleen extolled it should be boss cuz he was the one who actually manufactured enough blood so the body could function.

    This went on and on with the arms, legs, kidneys, stomach, eyes, teeth and all the other parts putting in their arguments why they should be boss.

    Then when all thought the debate was over, the "asshole" boastfully bellowed, "I demand to be boss!"

    Upon hearing that, all the other body parts broke out into loud laughter at that "absurd" idea.

    Taken aback by that harsh rebuke of his demand, the asshole puckered up refusing to participate in any more discussion.

    Soon the brain became dizzy and feverish.

    The heart struggled to keep pumping.

    The lungs found it increasingly difficult to draw in much needed air.

    The arms soon hung limply to the side.

    The eyes blurred.

    And so it went with every part of the body.

    And emergency meeting was called. And soon all capitulated for the sake of the whole.

    So that's how the "asshole" became the boss.


    Now I know you think this was all meant to be funny, but is it really???

    The reason that we have such shit policy is because assholes are in charge. It's time for them to go. Remember, shit flows down hill.